


Mila[D]y

by FluoxetineHcl



Series: Lies and Memories [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fantasy, Romance, Time Travel, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluoxetineHcl/pseuds/FluoxetineHcl
Summary: Ending D of Reminiscence
Relationships: Ignis Scientia/Original Character(s), Ignis Scientia/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Lies and Memories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1600639
Kudos: 2





	Mila[D]y

**CHAPTER 13**

* * *

_Why would you do that?_

_Don't you love yourself?_

_Don't you love him?_

_Why human is a foolish creature?_

_Why human is a weak creature?_

* * *

"Mommy? What is that?" a little girl lifted her face up toward me who was floating near my master. She held a small teddy bear doll in her little arms. Her black hair was being tied into a twintail, with a small red ribbon tied on each side of her head.

"Zeit, you said that no one could see you?" my master flustered as she turned her head on me.

"I-I don't know! How could she see me?!" Yes, this case was the first time for me. No one was supposed to be able to see me beside my master, unless this small witch had a great magic potential, or, she was a peculiar child.

"Mommy? It's talking!" that girl was running away from me, then hid behind a sofa that was not too far from me.

"It's okay Eira… He's my friend." Elaine Heallint tried to call her daughter, the mother's voice was as soft as the cloud, bright as the sun, clear, and reassuring. The young Eira moved her head slightly, took a peek behind the brown sofa, squinting her eyes in doubt.

"Hi! I'm your mother's friend!" I tried to float in a cheerful manner, moving to the right and the left, swaying my body. Not sorry, but I couldn't smile, okay, thank you very much. I tried to be cute, since I knew that children loved something that's cute.

"Noo!" she pulled her head, hiding behind the sofa for once again.

"His face is scary!" her voice was muffled, maybe she covered her face with her stuffed bear.

"Elaine, please educate your child!" I faced Elaine who then covered her mouth with her hand as she laughed.

"He's scary, but Zeit is a kind book." Elaine walked toward her daughter, I floated beside her as she approached Eira, because, yeah, I couldn't be too far from my master. "It's okay, you don't need to be afraid, Eira."

"Really?" Eira's voice was softer, not the high-pitched one that escaped from her lips a few seconds ago. She slowly peeked from behind the sofa, again, staring at me in disbelieved eyes.

"Um, yeah… I'm a kind book! A very kind book!" Elaine should be grateful because I was kind enough to shift my voice to the high-pitch one as I tried hard to make the little witch not afraid of me.

"Hehehe!" Eira ran back toward her mother and I then lifted her face as she stretched her tiny hands toward me. "I love kind book! Play with me~! Play with me~!"

Wow, didn't expect that it was a success.

"Zeit, please, I need your cooperation." my master whispered at me, so that I moved my body, flying toward the small girl who was now jumping as she tried to reach me.

"Y-yeaay~~" I tried to make another cheerful voice until those small fingers reached me, holding the side of my body.

"Your face is weird! Hihihi!"

"You impolite brat!" I scowled. Unacceptable, she said that my face is weird!

"Zeit!" Elaine glared at me. "Words!"

* * *

_I saw you growing up._

"Zeit, look! I made a flower crown!"

She was five at that time when she gave me the flower crown which I did think that it didn't suit me. Normally, if it was for humans, you would put the crown on the head, right? But I was not, not having a proper head, so the little witch tied the upper side of my body with it. Okay, if Elaine asked me to show a certain page she needed to read, I would break the flower crown, right? I wondered if Eira would cry if that happened.

After finishing crowning my _head_ , she laughed brightly then lay down on my master's lap, gazing at the blue sky above while asking her mother to tell a fairytale.

* * *

_I saw you being kinder as you grew up._

"So then, then, if you fold it like this… Tada! You'll have the paper crane!"

She was six at that time, and my master was working on her desk. Actually Eira wanted to play with her mother, but she was busy. And I, a mere grimoire, acted as her babysitter.

Elaine was so unfair, letting me babysit her child! I was trapped in hours by hearing the little witch talking about anything and sometimes she forced me to respond about her story. If I said nothing after she finished her talk, she would pout. What a spoiled brat.

* * *

_I felt the love my master gave to you._

"Mom! I could make the books floating!"

The little witch was seven years old when she finally learned magic. Part of it, I was the one who taught it.

"You have new friends, Zeit." she made the books floating around me, as she giggled seeing me surrounded by the other books. "Shall we draw a face on each of them?"

* * *

_I was being affected by my master's love for you._

"Mom! Let me take a picture of you!" she snatched the camera from her father's hand, then running toward her mother.

The eight years Eira held the camera in front of her face, then pressed the shutter. "What a shame! Zeit won't be in the picture!"

"I don't need it anyway!" I didn't want to lose from her mock.

"It's because… you… are…. u…. gly!" Eira sticked her tongue out then ran away with a laughter.

"You brat!"

* * *

_If only there were no arranged marriage between you and that glasses man._

"Lelia, ah… um… Let me introduce you to him, Ignis Scientia. He wanted to learn how to cook… and I thought, maybe… you could teach him…"

She was nine when she came home with a nerdy glasses boy. I felt jealous, because she wouldn't play with me anymore and immersed herself in her cooking activities with him instead.

"So, this boy is Ignis, hmm? The one who you said will marry your child, huh?"

"Are you jealous?" my master who was sitting in the living room while reading a book glanced at me.

"Me? No! Why should I?!"

"Because Eira will not play with you anymore." Elaine chuckled.

* * *

_If only you never brought that boy to your life._

"Mom, your wedding dress was very gorgeous. Do you still have it? Where do you keep it?" ten years old Eira placed her gaze on the picture that was hung in the living room, admiring her mother and her father's beautiful moment that was captured on a piece of printed paper.

"You wanted to wear the same dress as me?" Elaine who was sitting on the sofa turned her head to the small Heallint.

"I want!" Eira turned her body around, grinning widely and striding her steps to the sofa. She then threw herself to her mother, hugging her and leaned her head on her mother's shoulder.

"You'll have it when you grow up." Elaine caressed the raven hair on her shoulder.

* * *

_I saw you growing up._

She was thirteen when she came back home with that Ignis again. But a raven boy followed her that day. Her friend had increased?! Unbelievable!

That damn Ignis was cooking so carefree in our kitchen. I wanted to see what they did, but my master was going back to her room and doing her job with a pile of documents.

I was frustrated.

* * *

_I saw you growing up and I hate how you were getting closer to that dirty blonde._

She was seventeen when she returned back home late. My master was the one who opened the lock, and behind her, that man was with her again, driving her home.

He often did it, and I despised it whenever she showed up with him every night.

* * *

_I saw you growing up and getting far from me._

She was eighteen when her face was blushing after she got home that night. She was flustered whenever replying to my master's question and then she hid herself in her room. I wondered what had happened.

That glasses must be doing something to her! Better he didn't…!

* * *

_I saw you turning into a beautiful lady._

She was twenty one when that man visited our home, bringing a bouquet of flowers and went upstairs to her room. What was he trying to do?! What was he trying to do with that flower?!

Then my master talked to his husband... about the marriage?! What?

Elaine and William talked a lot that night as they planned for their daughter's marriage. But it never happened, because this happy family was destroyed in one night.

She was also twenty one when she died. And my master was crying a lot, a lot. She was devastated, ruined, shattered. She was screaming in her grief, she kept saying that she wanted to go to the citadel. But Lelia was pulling her, and they left the city.

Until around midnight, they run to a haven. Lelia was passed out but not my master. She was still crying and kept asking me how to save her child.

I wanted to. I also wanted to save her. But it meant that my master would suffer, as her existence would be erased from her daughter.

If it was the tears that needed to be shed by humans when they cry, I'd like to do so. I wanted to cry like them. I wanted to scream like them.

Yet, she kept doing it.

She cast the strongest spell written inside me. Where she would have a chance to choose her fate.

She was running, climbing to the top of the tower to choose her fate. But every step she made, she got hurt. Her body was torn down, sliced, and her soul will be sucked out everytime she looks at every possibility that was existed. And at the same time, she would see her daughter dying, over and over whenever she took a look at those doors of time.

And what I could do was only protect her from the Draconian.

She did it at last. She chose the time where her daughter didn't need to go to the citadel that day. So that she would be safe, would be alive.

We arrived at her chosen time, and Eira was running from the darkness with Lelia.

Eira threw herself on the ground. She was crying, letting out a silent scream from her lips.

While on my right side, my master was smiling, even though soon, she would die. She crawled toward her daughter, spending her last energy to then caress her daughter.

"Eira…" her soft voice calling her daughter's name, so tender and kind. But it hurt me, it pained me.

"Who are...?" Eira rose up to sit. Of course, she wouldn't know her mother. She was already erased from her memory. My master's existence was already removed, altered and shifted from the memories of everyone who knew her.

"You're alive." My master moved her body closer to her daughter, pulling Eira in her embrace.

"Ma'am, you're wounded!"

"It's fine…" my master tightened her embrace instead. "I don't want to lose you anymore…"

 _Why_ _can't_ _I shed my tears?_

 _Why_ _can't_ _I cry even though I had the emotion?_

"Ma'am… I don't know you…"

"Eira…"

"How could you know my name?"

 _Why_ _is_ _there something hurt inside me seeing them?_

"I'm glad you're alive." Elaine pulled her face, staring at her daughter. Her hand caressed Eira's cheek and left the blood stain on it.

Then a line of blood started to stream down from my master's lips, her left eye, and lastly from her right eye. It was already her limit. It was a curse, or what you could say as the price for changing the fate, for someone who changed the past. Her body would be broken, would be shattered, because she—a mere human—was trying to change the past.

"Ma'am?! What?! Y-you're bleeding! Let me… let me heal you…" Eira moved her hand in haste, trying to form a circle on my master's face.

Yet, my master's trembling hand stopped her daughter. She shook her head weakly and smiled at the raven hair in front of her.

"I love you…"

"No! No! Don't leave me! No! NO!"

My master fell weakly to the ground, as she slowly embraced her death. But, Eira tried to heal her by drawing the magic circle many times. Useless. She would never be able to heal her mother.

She did it again and again, even though Elaine had stopped breathing. Yet, Eira didn't want to accept the truth as she kept casting the spells on the dead body of my master. Kept trying, kept trying, until eventually she had lost her consciousness.

Floating still, I looked at my master's body as it slowly disappeared.

I could do nothing but open my pages, welcoming her soul inside me, as it was the consequence of our pact.

And then I fell down to the ground, being locked, and unable to move anymore.

* * *

_You forgot me once, but it was okay for me._

"So you're the next, huh?" I already knew that she would be. But, let's say that I didn't know her.

"What do you mean by the next?"

"Just speaking to myself."

"What are you?" she squinted her eyes. She didn't know me, the memories of me had also already disappeared from her, just like her memories of my previous master.

"A grimoire?" I floated around, toward the ceiling, the back of her, observing her. It had been a long time since my last time seeing her this close. I stayed above her left shoulder, the place where I belonged.

"What of?"

"Many things. I can't remember it well." I lied. Simply because I didn't want her to find out what was written in me, even though I knew that it was impossible as she already became my master.

"May I see what is written inside?" she took me in her hand, stopping me from floating in the air.

"Yes, of course. If you can read it."

"What do you mean?"

A sudden knock disturbed our conversation. She let out a startled gasp and looked at the door.

"How to turn you off?"

"Hei?! You think I am a kind of device?" I freed myself from her grip, irritated by her way of asking.

She then drew a magic circle on my cover while I was still floating then chanted a reverse spell from the one she used to open me.

I fell down to the ground. But it didn't mean that I was going to sleep. I could hear everything.

It was him. That man again. The one who destroyed my beloved master's life.

* * *

_I didn't like to see you tortured._

"Nightmare again?" I greeted her as soon as she opened her eyes. She had a nightmare, which was expected due to the calamity that befell her these recent days. She lost her father, she lost her mother in front of her eyes without recognizing her own mother, and she lost her home.

"I forgot to lock you, huh?" sighing, she wiped the sweat that was slipping down from her forehead, then took a deep breath, as she tried to calm herself. I didn't like seeing her like this.

"Hey, I already said that any ordinary person won't see me if I am in this state, didn't I?"

She rose from the bed, walking to the small dressing table beside the wooden shelf and sat in front of it.

"What was your name again?"

"Zeit?" I hovered to her face and then floating again to the above of her head, flying around the room but not too far from her. "Welt? Gott? Gestirn? Which one?"

"Annoying." She muttered. "Zeit. I'll call you Zeit then."

"The same with the previous Master, huh?" I chuckled then halted near her left shoulder. I was sure she didn't remember how she called me, but she chose Zeit. The name that was being used by her mother to call me. The name that was introduced to her since we met for the first time.

"Again, why won't you tell me about your previous Master?" She looked at the mirror which reflected her exhausted look. She cried a lot the night before, and now her eyelids were swollen.

"Access denied." I teased, pretending to be a device. Probably, she would be amused by my act.

"You were angry when I treated you like a device, but what's with that response?"

Nope, she wasn't amused.

"Ah… Yes, that night… When you asked me how to turn me off, right? Well… Should I tell you about that night? When the beast devoured his prey on the first night you and I formed the contract?" I floated higher, letting a creepy laugh and waved my body around. I loved teasing her. I liked to annoy her. I liked her expression when she was flustered. I liked seeing the crimson hue spread on her cheeks.

"Zeit?! How could a mere book…?!" She stood and reached me, trying to grip me inside her small hands.

"Iggy~ Hihihi..." I hated that name, I hated how she called him in that way, but I loved seeing her blushed by hearing it.

"Come down and I'll tear your pages!" I liked seeing her flustered like that. She tried to scream but she couldn't, surely, she was afraid if Lelia would hear her screaming at nothingness.

"Oh! And you called yourself a lady? How rude! Disrespectful! Ill-mannered!"

She glared at me. I thought that she would reply to my mocking words, but she closed her eyes instead and regained her composure.

"Okay…I'm terribly sorry… Zeit, please come down." She opened her palm, telling me with her gesture so that I would come down to her.

"Yes, _milady._ " I obeyed and landed my mortal body to her hand.

"Why wouldn't you tell me about your previous Master?" She stared at my bronze eyes, but unfortunately, unlike the human, my eyes couldn't show any expression.

"I can't. It's the rule."

"If we disobey?"

"Death? Perhaps?" I lied.

"You lie." and she knew.

"I did."

"Oh… So that's it? Maybe it's better if we shut your mouth, Zeit?" She gripped me stronger and drew a circle on my face.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Okay!" I quickly stopped her. No! I still wanted to be _alive!_

"Then?" She paused her movement, but not lifted her finger from me.

"I really can't tell you about the previous Master. Because I can't, simply like that. I'm not allowed to do so. But I can help you to know."

"In what way?"

"Through your mind, but of course, you'll get hurt."

"Try me."

I didn't want her to get hurt. But who was I to stop her?

"Okay, okay! Now then… Think about it! Can you remember what is missing from your life?"

"What do you mean?" She tilted her head, puzzled by my question.

"What is missing from your life? When other people have it but not you." I added my question, and she started to get hurt. I told her. I told her so. But she forced me to do so.

She let me loose from her grip as she held her head.

"You're a witch. You should be able to try to understand it. But the memories will not come to your mind, no matter how hard you try."

She stood up from her seat and walked out from her room with a stagger. I followed her as she strode to the kitchen.

"Lelia… who… who is my mother?"

It was a vain. No one would know her. No one. Even her, the one who was granted by a piece of my magic knowledge as soon as she formed the blood contract with me.

"Why suddenly?"

"Answer…!"

"As far as I know, your mother passed away right after giving birth to you…"

"Lie…"

"But that's what is being told by Sir William..."

"Did you ever see my parents' wedding picture?"

"I'm afraid… not?"

She cried again. Alone. After she knew that it was indeed impossible for her to recollect the memories of her mother.

* * *

_I didn't like seeing you hurt yourself._

"Eira, don't you think that you need to take a rest?"

I was worried when she spent a few hours in this place, hurting herself over and over to take her own blood and used it for the spell.

"Then what? You're the one who taught me."

"Not me, but the verse inside me!"

She forced herself to do so. She was a fool. She was not as smart as her mother. Her mother preserved her own blood so she wouldn't need to do this spell in one day. But Eira was stubborn, impatient.

"You'll die." I hovered in front of her face. She would die if she kept doing it.

"Nope."

"One more word." She sliced her wrist again, then used her blood to write the last word on the ground. She dropped the dagger then sat down in the middle of the circle she had created.

"Zeit…" She called me with her brittle voice. She was tortured, by her own self.

I floated in front of her face, flipping my parchments to the page where the ritual was written on. She started to utter the incantation stated inside me.

The red glow was shimmering from the ground, creating a gust of wind within the circle. The roar echoed from our surroundings. By this time, she would feel another pain, pressing her chest, making it hard for her to take a breath.

After she finished the incantation, I swallowed her blood that was written in the book. With this, she made another contract with me, which then splitted her soul into the nine fragments.

She then screamed in pain. But I could only hear it, without doing anything to ease her pain.

And this time, even though I hated that man, I could feel the relief when he came, with his friends to find my master.

* * *

_I hate him._

"You're finally awake!" I quickly hovered to her face as soon as she opened her eyes.

"Zeit? Why am I here?"

"Your Iggy brought you here…" I moved myself to her right side, so that she looked at me, and the man who spent the night sleeping on that chair, waiting for her to wake up from her slumber. I still hated him, but I forgave him for this time only.

"How can?" She rose up and sat, moving herself toward the man who was sleeping soundly even in that awkward position, sitting on the chair, crossing his arms, leaned his shoulder to the wall and still wearing his glasses.

"Dunno~" I positioned myself around Ignis's right shoulder, then faced the man. Yeah, he was handsome. Then, what?

"Should I wake him up?" She bit her lower lips, fidgeting.

"Hmm…?" Ignis frowned in his sleep, he moved his head then slowly opened his eyes. Perhaps he was awoken by Eira's voice.

"Eira...?" I didn't like how my master's name slipped out from his lips. Her name was too sacred to be called by him.

She moved her body, approaching the man who then straightened his back. "Why are you here?"

"The same goes for you, why were you there?!" He then moved his entire body, pulling my master's arm roughly. "And what's with this?!"

_HEI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!_

"It hurts...!" She frowned in pain as he pulled her hand upward.

_YOU DAMN BRAT!_

"Did you try to kill yourself?!"

"I'm not!"

"Then what is this?!" He tugged her hand again until he made her body lean forward and almost fall from the bed. I didn't like him! I never did!

"I can explain!"

"Why did you hurt yourself?!"

"It was necessary…"

"What for?!" He raised his voice. How dare he talk in that rude manner?!

"Zeit." She called my name, and commanded me to open the page of spells that she needed.

"Please sleep…" I was surprised when she cast the sleeping spell on him. I loved her! I didn't expect that she would make him sleep instead of explaining everything to him.

"What are...?" He fell to the ground before even finishing his words. _Ouch_ , bet it was hurt. Better his spectacles wouldn't be broken.

"You cruel." I closed my cover and stared at her obsidian to tease her. Actually, I wanted to praise her bravery to cast the sleeping spell at him.

"I was flustered!"

"You were afraid."

"Zeit!" she gave me another command, stood up from the bed then cast another spell on the man. She made him floating and brought his body to the bed. I prefer him to sleep on the floor, though.

"It worked well." she ripped the bandage surrounding her wrist, and healed its wound in a swift second. I saw how she was satisfied with her new skill.

I followed her as she sat on the bed then stared at his sleeping face. I disliked the way she caressed his cheek softly when she lifted her spell from him.

"Eira…? What were…"

I hated how she brushed her lips on him to stop his sentence. I was jealous.

"I'm not a medic…"

"If it's about Jared, it's not your fault…" also, I didn't like the way he caressed her cheek.

"I cast a sleeping spell on you… I'm sorry…"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you…" he then pulled her upper arm, burying her face on his chest. "Why did you hurt yourself?"

I turned around, decided not to watch the scene in front of me. At least, I wanted to respect her privacy. Her mind already full with that man, she even forgot to lock me down.

"Umm... To be able to cast the spell without manually drawing the magic circle and chant incantation."

"I don't understand… Why did you need to hurt yourself?"

"Blood sacrifice."

"Eira…"

"If I told you, you would stop me right?"

"Of course…"

"If I was faster, Jared wouldn't die…"

"It's not your fault."

"It's the second time… I let someone die in front of me. I let Talcott lose his only family."

"No… don't say like that…"

"I was afraid…" I couldn't see her but from her brittle voice, I knew that she began to cry.

"Eira…"

"I couldn't save that woman. I couldn't save Jared. How if I couldn't save anyone else? How if something bad happened to you and I just let you die on me?!" Her mother's death was not her fault, though. It was mine...

"Eira… look at me…"

"No."

"Eira…"

"No one blames you… You're not the one who slayed him… Do not blame yourself… And please… never hurt yourself like this anymore…"

_But you'll be the reason she hurt herself._

_You will be._

* * *

_He snatched your life._

"I wonder if Ignis will arrive today…" she muttered in a sudden, and if I had facial expression, I must be smirking right now.

"Ooh~ You already missed him? What? What are you longing for? What are you yearning for? His voice? His handsome face?" I flew toward her face, then waving to the left and to the right while teasing her with my sneering tone.

"Zeit!" she looked at me and suddenly cast the spell on me, letting me fall from the air downward to the ocean.

_That witch!_

And just before my leather cover touched the water, she lifted the spell so then I had time to float right away.

"You want to kill me?!" I yelled and moved upward, hovering to her side for once again.

She held her stomach then crouching on the floor as she laughed hard. "Ahahaha….!"

_Ignis, see this! I am the one who is capable of making her laugh like this! And not you!_

"Stop laughing! You almost kill me!" I raised my voice. No actually, it was fine for her to laugh like this. She had always been crying since a few weeks ago, and now, seeing her laugh freely like this surely made me a bit… happy.

"Ahaha… You could die?" She leaned on the wall, trying to catch her breath between her own laughter.

"No! Of course!" I lied. I could die, physically. But not that easily.

"Ahahaha! You amused me!"

I kept yelling at her, but she only replied with her laughter. It even took a minute until she stopped her laugh and regained her composure.

"Hei Zeit." the happiness had been swept off from her face, and her tone was filled with gravity as she called my name.

"What?"

"I need a spell…"

"What of?"

"To protect…"

"Oh…" I moved to her front then flipped open the pages in me, showing her the spell to protect her from physical attack. "Is this one?"

She looked at the verses written on me. "No. Stronger one…"

"Hmm… This one then…" I knew she would like this one. She was the one who didn't think about herself, afterall. She loved that man. So much, she would sacrifice her souls for him.

"This one then…" She nodded. Right, this was the one spell that could prevent the death of her beloved one.

"Really? You really want to do that?"

"But you were the one who said that I should learn all the verses inside you."

"Learn. Not implement it."

"Isn't it the same? Moreover, what's the meaning of learning if you don't practice it?"

"No. Eira. It's different. Not every verse written here must be done by you."

"Why? You worried about me?"

"Worried? Me?!" I moved harshly. I was worried. Yeah, I was. But I wouldn't let her know. I would never let her know that I was worried.

"Yes. You." she gave a chuckle.

"Not in a slight." and I didn't want to admit it.

"Okay, I believe you." she closed me and looked at my bronze face on the cover.

"Hei Eira… Don't you think that we should go back? If not, that little boy of yours would be shrieking and destroying my eardrum."

"Talcott is not like you. Moreover, you have no ear." she poked at the upper part of my bronze face then turned her body around, approaching the elevator. Yet, the steel door was opened just before she pressed the button to get down to the ground level, and the dirty blonde walked out from the inside. He was here again.

"Eira, I'm looking for you…" _Well, thanks for looking for my beloved master._

"Ah... Why didn't you tell me that you'll arrive today?" She let loose my body from her hand, letting me hover again around her.

"Look! It's Iggy! It's Iggy!" I revolved around the man in front of me. Honestly, I wished this man could look at me, so that I could tell him to back off and never get near to my master. But then, she would cry if I did it.

"Noctis sometimes couldn't decide where to go. Not until I started to drive."

"So you couldn't message me beforehand. What a troublesome prince he is."

She ignored me.

"Why are you here anyway?"

"I was… just wanted to take a breather." She walked closer to that man which then annoyed me so I decided to positioned myself right in front of Ignis's face and muttered random words to tease her.

"It's getting darker, let's get back to the house." He held her hand while the elevator brought us downward to the ground floor.

Realizing that I was being ignored, I decided to shut my mouth —I knew I didn't have the mouth, though —, and levitated slightly backward, avoiding the range of her vision.

* * *

_I hate anyone who tried to snatch you away from me._

"I'm sure if its Noctis, he will get the Goddess's blessing! He already forged the pact with Archaean and Fulgurian, after all!" This boy's name was Talcott. I hate him. He was clingy to Eira. What did he think of himself? Her brother? And now he talked about his Gods and Goddess? What a joke.

"I hate your Gods." a slight mumble escaped from me unwittingly.

I hate their Gods. Especially that one. He was the one that made me become an outcast. The one who played with human beings. The one who swore to protect them, but played with them instead.

* * *

_He didn't even know how much you were tortured by him._

"Waiting for a message from Iggy, huh?"

She stared blankly at the window, holding her phone, with the face marred by uneasiness.

"Hee… It was really dark outside…"

She didn't respond.

"Eira!" Even after I raised my voice.

"Oi! Eira!" I decided to levitate myself on her face. "What's wrong?! I was talking to you but you didn't even respond!"

"Oh Zeit… Sorry. What did you s… Ugh…" she didn't finish her sentence as suddenly it seemed that she was assaulted by pain.

"It hurts… It hurts...!" She even slipped her phone from her grips and let it fall down to the floor.

"Eira?! What happened?!" I could guess, but I hoped that my guess was wrong. No, I knew, I was just being denial.

But she couldn't answer my question as she was now screaming in pain. Her wail brought the ache into me, and I couldn't do anything to ease her pain.

"Eira?! Did you really use that spell?! On that man?!" of course, she really did give a fragment of her soul to that man. There was no other explanation but that. It meant that he was dying now.

_I can't understand humans._

_Why would you sacrifice your soul to save another soul?_

She covered her mouth as she let out another scream. I didn't know what I could do. I could only see her, as she suffered and tormented.

_Yes, it was his fault. Everything was his fault._

* * *

_He didn't even know how much you cried alone._

She called that man the next morning. But it seemed that he didn't tell her something.

"Aa…" I saw her from her left side as she cried but trying hard to suppress her woe. Certainly, she didn't want anyone to hear her cry.

"I'm sorry…" She cowered, weeping, and wailing in silence. I didn't understand why she apologized to the man who didn't even hear her. It was not her fault though. It was him. That meant that he was too weak until he got himself killed.

"I failed…" She bit her forefinger, perhaps she wanted to mute her sobbing cry. I didn't like seeing her like this.

"Eira…" I levitated to her front. I wanted her to stop crying.

"I'm sorry… I cried again…" She took a deep breath.

"Why do you apologize?"

"Hehe… Right. Why, indeed?" She let out a devastating giggle then forming a smile. Why would she smile? Wasn't she sad?

"Are you really okay?"

"Of course, not." She chuckled. Why? Why would she chuckle?

"Right. That's right. Of course you're not okay." I swayed my body to the right and to the left. Right, my movement was limited and I could only cheer her up by doing this. "Come on! Stop crying!"

"How?"

"Eat! Let's eat! Iris will yell soon! You spent too much in your cry! It's only a matter of time until she comes here and drags you to the dining room!"

"Thanks. Zeit." She moved her hand, wiping the tears slipping down her cheeks with her trembling fingers.

She then called his friend, confirming that the man had lost his sight. She hurled her back to the bed after the call ended then staring blankly at the ceiling. I had lost my words. I didn't know what to say to her.

* * *

_Even so, you devoted yourself to him._

She chanted the healing spell on him, until the white magic circle formed its shape on his face. Yet, it was shattered a second she created it.

"Eira?" the dirty blonde called her name, but she didn't answer.

She cast the spell for once more, yet the circle was destroyed again, making a cracking sound whenever it was ruptured.

"Eira? Answer me…" his hands cupped her face, rubbing his thumbs on her damp cheeks.

She cried again, as she chanted the spell over and over.

"Eira? What are you doing?"

She couldn't heal him, her spell couldn't restore his sight, it couldn't help him. For five times, for ten times, for twenty times. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She was unable to restore his sight.

"Eira? Are you trying to heal me?" Ignis shook her shoulders, but it didn't stop her from doing so.

"Oi! Eira! You can't heal him this way!" I couldn't hold my voice. I wanted her to stop. But she was angry, as she glared at me, made me fall to the floor and closed my bronze eyes, hindering me from talking or speaking.

"I'm sorry…" She mumbled. "I couldn't heal you. I'm sorry…"

It was not her fault. Why? Why would she apologize? He was alive, even though he couldn't see her. Was it enough?

* * *

_You gave your soul and you lost it because you protected him._

"Why did you give your soul again to that man?!" I yelled soon after she cast the spell that freed me from the mute. I swayed in rage, boiled in anger. Even her mother never ever gave her souls to her husband or her daughter. She knew the consequences, her life would be depleted, shortened. She didn't want it, because she believed that the peace would last forever.

I knew that the world had already changed in Eira's life, getting perilous and dangerous, moreover she was afraid that something would kill her man, which was true. But I hated it. I hated the fact that the man indeed was being killed, destroying one of Eira's precious soul fragments. "You think that it was no big deal?! You lost all of your soul, your death is guaranteed!"

"But it was only the second time? Approximately, I still have 7 left?" She was definitely the human form of the word stubborn.

"Yeah, right! Right! And after that you would become a soulless piece of meat!"

"You expect that he'll die everyday?" She sighed, then walked to her wardrobe. That man agreed to leave on his journey with her. They would depart soon. And actually I didn't want her to do that damn journey with that man. He was blind and he couldn't protect her.

"He's blind! You think he'll survive walking around in the dark, killing the daemon or monster out there? And what? You'll give your soul to him whenever he dies?" I was angry. She was thinking that her fragment of souls was not a big deal. Even though I already told her that losing soul fragments would slowly crippled her body. Losing one wouldn't really take effect, but losing eight would make her insane, crippled, disabled, hindered her to walk, to move her limbs and even to talk.

She tossed her clothing on her bed, bewildered by the sentences I threw at her.

"Zeit. You say something like that anymore, I'll really tear you apart!" she glared at me who was hovering on her left side.

"And what? I know you still need me. You really wanted to do that spell right?! You think you can do that without me?" I kept my voice loud. She wanted to change the past. Because it was the only way she could do to save her dearly emeralds.

I thought she would reply to me with her vexation, instead she took a deep breath, then diverted her attention away from me by folding her clothing and squeezed it inside her bag.

"No matter what, I'll bring back his sight." she zipped her bag then put it on the floor beside the bed.

"You'll need ten years to learn that spell." I tried to discourage her, I wanted to deter her will.

"Fair enough." Yet, she didn't back off that easily.

"Thousand of magic circles and you already lost two fragment of your soul! You'll not survive for even ten of it. You're not as strong as my previous master. You lack of knowledge and experience."

I'd like to beg, to plead, so that she wouldn't cast her life away, like her mother. But I couldn't, she had decided, and no one could stop her.

* * *

_He even abandoned you_ _._

She spent her ten years to learn, to practice, to get stronger. Everything was only to restore that man's sight.

If only she fell in love with another man. If only she would never meet the Scientia. She wouldn't get hurt. She would never be.

And yet, after spending three years alone in Insomnia, not even once that man visited her. She always spent her days staring blankly to the ceiling, whenever she didn't have a thing to do.

"Take a rest, we cannot risk losing another medic here. You're exhausted enough."

Or perhaps, falling in love with the marshal was much better for her. If only she would never know that Ignis.

"Eira, better you start to sleep. You haven't slept for three consecutive days. You even didn't notice me when I called you!" she was too exhausted, by her sadness, by her loneliness. He abandoned her. He let her suffer.

"Thanks for your concern, Zeit. You know, you're getting kinder these days."

"I'm not! Come on! Just sleep!" _I only wanted to protect you._

"Hehe.. Right away!" A magic circle was formed in front of her face. She cast a sleeping spell on herself, which she always did these last three years. What an unhealthy lifestyle.

"You'll sleep eventually without the spell! Just lie down and close your eyes! Foolish!" I scolded her, forcing her to sleep without using her spell.

She then lied down on the floor, blankly stared at the ceiling until she fell asleep slowly.

* * *

_I hate him._

"How've you been? Married with Ignis, yet?" I coughed, choked by the question tossed by Noctis. I let out a loud laughter, mocking my master as I moved closer to her ear. Letting her listen to my laugh closely.

Oh, I loved this man. He knew what to say. I bet those words slapped that coward dirty blonde man.

"I'm afraid no, Your Highness." Eira was blushing, smeared with the hue of apple on her cheeks. She was cute, still, and always be, even after becoming thirty.

"Ehrm… Noct..." Ignis cleared his throat. He was fidgeting. Hah! I bet he was just shy!

"Iggy. How cruel. You make a lady wait for years!"

"Yes! Really! Cruel!" I agreed.

He was cruel, making Eira wait for years. He promised to marry her after coming back from Altissia. But what she got was a blind man, with no desire to ask her to the marriage. What? Afraid of the dark? Didn't want to get married in the world without the sun? Weak.

_If only..._

_If only he would marry you long before, you wouldn't decide to do that…_

_I was sure…_

_I was sure of it..._

* * *

_But then, here you were..._

"Wake up! You have no time to sleep leisurely!"

She had decided. Her resolution to restore the man's sight was not a lie. She showed it to me that she was capable of entering this realm, destroying her own time just to create another one, which suited her ideal.

She was dead, once, before entering this vast blue world. Shattering the third piece of her soul.

"You have no much time."

"I know." Her legs were trembling, she was engulfed in her own fear.

She stretched her hand forward, drawing another magic spell that was hundred times larger than what she created before.

An immense ruin of tower then slowly created from the nothingness above the magic circle, followed by the outer pillars that were not as high as the main tower in the middle.

"It's familiar, isn't it? You visited this place with Ignis, but only the underground part of it." I hovered to her back, knowing that soon I wouldn't be the same grimoire that she knew.

"Costlemark Tower…"

"Right. Enter the tower, and you'll be able to choose the fate you desired from those opened doors along the way to the top. The higher you climb, the closest it is from your desired fate." The surge of abundant magic power was absorbed into my body.

"That simple? And the time limit?"

"As long as you don't die." I felt the nostalgic feeling as my form was slowly changed, to the one which was almost forgotten by me. The body that was killed by the Draconian, one of the most worshipped Astral in her world.

"I can't die. Not yet."

"You already died a few minutes ago, once…"

She then tilted her head, to the left and to the right. I knew, she was trying to find me.

"Do not look back." But I didn't want her to see me. I didn't want her to know that I was an Astral that lost his half of power to the mortal death.

"How if I do that?"

"I'll be angry." I always hated it when humans placed their gaze on me.

Now she placed her obsidian on me, with the mouth slightly opened, amazed by my appearance it seemed. I disliked this body because she would see my expression. I was afraid she would see the displeasure and sadness in my eyes. I then tried to emit an enormous amount of magic, and tried to inflict the fear on her, so she would feel my magic instead of my expression.

"I told you, Eira."

"You are…" She fixated her eyes on me, leaving her words unfinished.

And in a sudden, a sword was being thrown from the sky. Fortunately, she avoided it in time, by creating the magic circle that flung her away.

He came, of course. The Draconian who resented me, the one who screwed up his playground over and over. Even though he would never remember it.

He took another sword and was ready to throw it to her.

"Eira, start running." I gave her my command, not in the usual annoying tone that I used to irritate her.

"What...!?"

"You've been training hard in Ravatogh right?" I gave her a slight chuckle, perhaps, I wanted to let her know that I was indeed the same grimoire who always accompanied her.

"Zeit… it's really you…"

"Run."

That small body of her was running toward the middle tower. When she entered that tower, she would be tortured by the overwhelming magic, which then shattered her souls from inside.

The dragoon armor threw his sword, destroying the outer pillars of the tower. He wanted to kill her, but, as expected from him, he must have wanted to play a bit with his prey. That was why he didn't aim it directly at her on purpose.

"Mind to explain?! Why did he try to kill me!?"

I glanced at her, from the gap between the ruined wall surrounding the inner tower where she was now. "No chatter. Run, Eira. Remember to not enter the door."

"Zeit?!"

That wicked God crushing the wall again, still, deliberately aimed at the stairs below her. Of course, he wanted to enjoy this little game of us. He didn't want to kill her immediately, just wanted to tease her with fear before killing her. She was just a human, and it wouldn't take a long time for him if he really wanted to kill her. Unless, I stepped forward and hindered him to do so.

"Zeit… What an awful name." he took another sword, finally he placed his disgusting look at me.

"Then call me with my beautiful name, my dearest Draconian." I stared at him, tossing my smile to his displeased gaze.

"D-Draconi… Hei?!" Eira bemused, hearing how I called the deity who tried to kill her.

I flapped my wings, beating the air with it and floating to the sky, drawing my body closer to the armored deity above. I didn't answer her, didn't even explain anything to her. I let her in a state of perplexion.

"I won't let you make a mess in my world!" the swords on the Draconian's back then moving, forming a circle with the sharp point of it faced me. He was ready to kill me again, at last.

"You won't let me, but you always failed..." I created an enormous magic circle, blocking the rain of swords that showered Eira and me, hindering the assault from destroying the tower. "Right, you won't remember it…" He wouldn't remember the way I messed up his world many times with my previous masters before.

"I never heard about this, Zeit! You said that the fate will be changed by my own will! Why should I search the probability fate one by one?!" she was inside the tower, but her scream could be heard clearly by my ears. "It's cruel!"

"Surprise, Eira. It's thrilling, right?" teasing her this time would be my last.

"How dare an outcast entity like you, dare to step inside this holy realm of mine...!" the Draconian still tried to banish us, but what I could only do was to create the protective shield.

I was not that strong anymore. Even, blocking his assault was already enough to drain all of my strength.

She had lost the six of her soul fragments when she almost arrived at the top of the tower. She had died six times, and this was her last chance.

There was a visible crack on my magic circle. I couldn't endure the strikes from the God of War forever. She must hurry, to choose her desired fate, and at the same time, to sacrifice her life.

I glanced at the tower, and saw her crippled in front of the last two doors. What? Did she regret her action? At this time?

"Eira! Do not stop!" I yelled at her, waking her up from her daze. Even if she decided to enter that door, to return to her original time, she wouldn't get anything but losing everything instead. Even though I hated her for doing this spell, for changing her future, for restoring that man's eyes, I didn't want her endeavor to be a vain one.

She was in a mess, bleeding and trembling. She was so frail. But she was determined, she must not stop. Until finally she stepped inside the last door of time.

I dismissed the magic circle and turned back into a peculiar book, hovering myself, following my master to enter the door. Just right before Bahamut destroyed the entire tower.

* * *

_Being forgotten…_

_As you slowly embrace your death..._

"What?! Intruder?!"

It hurt, when the kyanite called my lady with that word. You were alive because of her.

"Noct, stay back!"

It was an agony, when that emerald asked his king to be cautious with my lady.

"Ignis!"

She was too weak to raise her head. Her breath was shaky, short and shallow. It must be hard for her to even take the air to her lungs.

The Scientia walked toward my lady. The one who was her lady. But he forgot her. He lost his memories of her.

Eira's hands were quivering, her hands which were injured by hundred wounds, stained by the blood which flowed slowly to the floor.

"Who are you?!"

I loathed the way he asked. His question hurt her feelings. Yet, he wouldn't understand it.

She only had a few minutes until she died.

"Ugh…" she groaned in pain. She was struggling, to raise her head, to raise her legs. But losing almost every each of her souls was a great burden.

"Ignis…! She's badly injured!" the kyanite frowned his brows. _Thanks for your concern, Your Highness_.

"I know! But we don't know whether she's harmful or not… We… We should be cautious… she appeared … ugh… from nowhere…!"

I flinched, seeing how he held his head suddenly. He tried to remember her? Did he try?

"Ignis?!"

"It's fine… Just a little headache…"

Right, it was indeed impossible after all.

She slowly raised her body, even though her feet were shivering in pain. She gazed at the men in front of her, the one she loved, the one I hated, the one who killed her.

"Ignis…" She cried, letting the tears stream down on her cheeks. She was smiling, between the pain that was torturing her, between the agony that tormented her.

She dragged her feet to approach the dirty blonde who was only standing still, not even throwing any words from his lips.

"Ignis…" She called his name as she brought her body closer to that man.

He froze, didn't say anything. Even after her quivering fingers reached his left cheek, stroking the scars around his eyes, smearing his face with her blood.

No one spoke, no one let out any voice. The King only stared at her in puzzlement. His adviser only watched her in silence. _Come on! Remember her! Do you love her?! Why do you let the curse erase her memories from your head?! Do you really love her?!_

The line of blood was slipping from her lips. She had no much time. She would die…

_I don't want her to die..._

She closed her eyes and buried her face on his chest.

"W-Who are you... ?"

_Come on! Do something!_

_Save her…_

_Please..._

He placed his hands on her upper arms, trying to lift her body away from him.

_Don't you love her?!_

_Why?!_

I could only watch her as she lost all of her strength, releasing her hands away from the man, slowly falling down to the ground. I expected her to crash to the ground, but he stopped it, as he circled his hands on her body, lifted her in his arms.

"Noct! I'll take her to medic afterall!"

The blood already slipping down from both of her eyes. I knew for certain that it hurt her, that it was too painful for her.

The dirty blonde was shrouded in turmoil, like what was drawn on his face. He was pale, frowning, and couldn't understand the things that were happening in front of his eyes.

Yet, I knew, no matter how fast he took her to the medic, no human could save her.

No one...

"Ignis… I love you…" her voice was rather a whisper, unclear. It was already hard for her to even let the voice escape from her throat. But she struggled, only to let him know about her feelings.

"W-what? I don't understand…"

_You foolish! You foolish!_

"I love you…" a slight smile was drawn on her face, as she stated those words over and over.

 _I hate you!_ I wanted to scream those words to that man. It was his fault. Everything was his fault.

"I'll bring you to the medic soon! Stay with me! Do not close your eyes!"

"I really…"

_I really_

"Stay awake!"

_hate_

"...love…"

_him_

* * *

I hate him.

No words can explain how much I hate him.

He snatched my dearly beloved. He made her cry. He made her sacrifice all of her life, even her existence. Just for a man like him. Who never protected her. Who never knew anything about her.

She killed herself. So that he could embrace the light.

She killed herself. Many times. Being tortured, tormented, ripped. Just for him! For a man like him!

It's not fair! Why should she die?! Why does he lose to the curse?! If he did love her a lot, he wouldn't forget her that easily.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I only wanted her happiness. I wanted to save her. I had already lived for more than three thousand years. I had it enough, right?

I wished to help her.

And I had two choices. Turning back the time, preventing her from meeting him, so she would never fall in love with him.

But then…

.

.

.

.

But then I realized that falling in love with him was the only true happiness for her.

That was why…

I would help her…

Even though that meant that I wouldn't be able to look at her anymore…

Even though that meant that I wouldn't hear her voice anymore…

It was okay…

As long as she is alive...

I loved you, Eira…

* * *

The End:

Mila[D]y

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to ending D.
> 
> Please read Trample[D] (will be uploaded after I posted E ending) for the continuation of this ending if Zeit choose his first choice. And Cor Leonis would be having more roleeee there! But the story is a lot lot lot darker than this one. Also it will reveal a lot of secrets about Zeit and the Astrals, about why Cor—the one who has almost no role in Reminiscence—has a whole fanfic about him, and about how everything's connected between Ending D and  
> Ending E. 
> 
> Also, please read Allurin[G] (to be uploaded after chapter 11 of Trample[D]) to know about what happened in Glaives Base Camp between the last three years of the night fall. This would be the reason why Cor becomes the main focus in Trample[D]
> 
> However, Trample[D] will be the bitter truth, meanwhile Reminiscence is the sweet fairytale. So, please read on your own risk.


End file.
